Do you get caught up in negative thinking spirals and have a feeling that you can’t be happy anymore? Maybe bad habits affect you too? Unhappy people often display these six behaviors. How to avoid them and what can help you feel lighter in your life again.
In clip: This makes people happy – according to a Harvard study
1. Holding on to negative thoughts
Are you constantly worried about your life? About whether you can buy a nice apartment or even a house of your own? Or will you ever find love? Unhappy people rack their brains every day. This can go as far as having sleepless nights and imagining the worst possible scenarios of a disaster.
But that’s not all: a pessimistic attitude can also affect relationships. A significant part of the distrust of unhappy people is often sleeping. They constantly expect negative events, accidents and huge disappointments. The result: they would rather not meet new people, withdraw quickly and become even more miserable because of their self-imposed isolation.
Do you recognize yourself at this point? Don’t panic! As long as you’re not overly concerned, everything is fine. However, you should not let negative thoughts limit or immobilize you. Trust your fellow human beings, be curious and grateful for all experiences.
If you are stuck in a negative thinking spiral, take a moment, breathe deeply and think about your favorite people or beautiful experiences. A gratitude routine such as journaling (a gratitude journal) can help you appreciate the little things each day and return to positive thoughts.
2. Seek recognition and affirmation from the outside
Unhappy people often put themselves under emotional stress, they want to be admired and recognized by others. In fact, their self-confidence is so low that they cannot recognize their own successes. So you need constant external praise and appreciation to be happy and fulfilled. As a result, those affected tend to be perfectionists and set themselves apart from others passionate.
To separate your happiness from the judgment of others, you must work on your self-esteem. For example, you can incorporate a small meditation practice and/or mindfulness exercises into your morning and evening routine. Be aware of what you’ve already achieved and be proud of your accomplishments. We are all responsible for our happiness and should celebrate even the smallest successes in life.
The guides will tell you, for example, how you can learn to love yourself. We also have tips on how to boost your confidence with simple exercises. Do you attend all the time? Here we have compiled the best tips against overthinking! Do you sometimes tend to be overly self-critical? 6 signs that you are being hard on yourself.
3. Make comparisons
Especially in times of social media, many of us may find it increasingly difficult not to compare ourselves to others. We scroll through our Instagram or TikTok feed and every time we realize that our fellow human beings are probably more successful, more beautiful and richer than us. Unhappy people not only compete with others in the digital world, but also in their real environment. They develop jealousy, devalue themselves and their abilities, and covet the lives of others. As a result, more and more feelings of dissatisfaction creep in and your self-esteem can suffer as a result.
Next time you compare yourself to others, just turn the tables: look to your peer as a source of inspiration and use the success of others as motivation. Also, reflect on your past accomplishments and acknowledge the small ones. Realize that you are no less valuable than anyone else in this world. Perhaps detoxing from social media can benefit you — especially when it comes to topics like body positivity and self-love.
Are you always on guard? Do you want to know where your loved ones are and with whom they spend their time? Or do you prefer working overtime at work, for example, than giving your colleagues some tasks? Letting go of control can be difficult for many. Sure, some levels of control are perfectly legitimate, if not healthy — after all, we are responsible for our own lives. However, with unhappy people, the desire for control can take the upper hand: they often plan everything down to the smallest detail, want to avoid negative experiences and mistakes, get emotional stress and as a result can no longer find peace.
Try not to directly classify negative events or “failures” as failures. Use it to learn for your future so that you can act differently next time. It is also important to trust those around you. Especially in a work environment, it can make your life a lot easier if you can hand over tasks and focus on your core tasks.
5. Living in the past
Unhappy people are constantly digging into their past, “What if…?” or “If only I had acted differently!” Your thoughts revolve around events that can no longer be changed. Those affected may feel sorry for themselves and simply cannot stop blaming others. They live in the past, unable to enjoy the moment and unable to feel happy.
Let go of the past and focus on your present. Unfortunately, you can no longer hold back from past experiences, but you can very well change your attitude towards them: accept the past as part of your life and put an end to it. Focus on the moment and look forward to better times.
6. Cultivate unhealthy relationships
Whether at work or in your private life: Those in unhealthy and toxic relationships are often overwhelmed by negative emotions. Arguing, manipulating, or jealousy causes emotional stress and, at worst, can make life hell. People who don’t identify with such situations or cling to relationships are desperately desperate in the long run. They often do not know how to help themselves and cope with circumstances.
Surround yourself with people who love you the way you are. We all deserve love and happiness. Set boundaries and define the values that matter to you in a relationship. Are you unsure if other people’s behavior is toxic? These are the traits that will help you identify toxic friends! If the other person is not following your rules, you might consider distancing yourself from him or her. Does this even apply to your relationship? With our post-breakup tips, you can finally be happy again.
Important note for us: If you have the feeling that you are now so unhappy that you cannot find your way out on your own, it is important to seek professional support. Coaches and psychotherapists can help break negative behavioral patterns and resolve depressive moods.
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