You have conquered my heart (again).

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As in football, so in life.

Rene, who does the dirty work in defense at FC, won't go home with the prom queen until after the club party. No, Rene helps clean up and stays until the last ashtray is emptied and all the banquet seating is stocked again. The way Rene plays football is the way he lives. vice versa.

Killian, any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental, and whoever tries to buy time using non-sporting means would also be a complete idiot in real life.

The exaggerated arrogance of the British and French is reflected in their style of playing football. Just like the collective consciousness of the Germans…

…And your despair, Austrians.

Austria is suffering. This is good! But the picture is deceiving.Image: Cornerstone

As is known, you Austrians are the biggest skeptics in the German-speaking world. No one curses, no one complains, no one suffers more beautifully than you. I don't mean to offend you by that. It is an expression of the greatest admiration. Because you combine your skepticism and devastatingly charming self-irony with a confident distance to your being, which every sane person must find at some point in their life.

Unfortunately, this does not always work. At least not here in Switzerland. For you, on the other hand, a little surrender is a cultural heritage.

At this point my admiration finally turns to envy. Because this basic mood in the country is bearing fruit. It's fertile ground for artists – especially comedians. When it comes to humour, you've been European champions for a long time. Along with the Brits, perhaps even the record holders. The success story does not end with Joseph Hader and Mrs. Sargnagel. I hope our musicians and writers are on your side.

Romano Schmid has not been rewarded after his impressive performance against France.Image: Cornerstone

But you guessed it. The anthem of praise for you, running as much as a ski jump on the Kolm, can only have one purpose: the devastating low blow. Yes, dear Austrians. As in life, so in football: self-mockery simply does not lead to goals. Own goals at most.

The legendary interview with Tony Fifer in 1999 represents who you are. When the score was 0:5 against Spain in the first half, he said quietly: “High weadmas nama gwinna.” You end up losing 0:9. Terrible kick, but a philosopher was born. That's exactly why I love you.

So forgive me for letting the football revolution of the last few years pass me by. My photo from the nineties. When Austrian football was still a simple game: 22 farmers, with advertisements on their trousers, plowed the land for 90 minutes – and in the end Ivica Fastek won.

But those times are over now. You taught me better yesterday.

Jesus Maria I'm blown away. It's no longer just wearing skates against cross-country ballet. That was really wonderful, dear Austrians. Really cool. Technically you were almost equal, tactically anyway… You don't need to analyze the match, you can do it better. As a Swiss citizen, I am particularly impressed by your passion. Nothing indicated typical Austrian resignation, nothing indicated an inherent desire for self-destruction. I fought and fought until the last minute, and sometimes I was on par with the French, who have reached almost every final in recent years.

These are virtues that I have not seen from you in a long time – perhaps not since the legendary Thomas Muster.

That is why I would like to thank you, dear Austrians. You have always had a special place in my heart. You have now enhanced it. The fact that you did this with such a wonderfully funny and combative performance rubbed me the wrong way a little. But I'm ready to revise my image. Once the football gods do the same, you won't lose games like this anymore.

That would be a bit of a shame about your moaning though. Because you are already European champions in this. But you might also be great winners. I definitely trust you.