Before the altar is unfavorable, and in many other situations it is liberating: saying no. But many people find it difficult to refuse requests. what should I do?
The basics in brief
- Psychology says that a saying cannot be an expression of self-care.
- If you have some catching up to do, you can practice.
- It’s time to think about helpful decisions and positive self-comments.
Work piles up on your desk, but you can’t always turn down new tasks? Friends ask you for help, and your answer is basically yes?
Rarely does anyone who wants to be loved with his or her counterpart refuse or please them. but why?
Personality, individual personality, and the cultural environment play a role, says psychologist Natalie Krahe.
In personal relationships, it is difficult to distinguish yourself. Sometimes, saying yes has become a habit. But this can be changed, as the expert explains in an interview.
Question: Are some people better at saying “no” than others?
Natalie Krahe: Here are the aspects of personality and social role models.
If in my environment I was allowed, or even supported, to say no and take a situation that way, it would be easy for me.
But if I had the experience that saying “no” is undesirable and even punishing, I would act completely differently.
From a psychological point of view, the ability to distinguish oneself authentically – that is, according to one’s needs and limits – is an expression of self-care.
However, it is also important to find a balance between your own needs and those of others. If one’s desires play a role, we quickly become selfish. This position is hardly socially acceptable.
Question: What if I haven’t already learned how to say no – can I still train myself to do it?
Karahi: The good news is that this is really trainable. Delay is key here.
It is useful, for example, to ask for time to think. Instead of following the “yes” reaction, I give myself a chance to check my actual readiness.
I can say, “I have to think about that first.” Or: “I’ll call you back in an hour.” So I give myself some time and at the same time indicate to the other person that I take the request seriously.
Even if the answer is no, she kept the relationship level. Of course, you should choose easy training areas at the beginning and not start immediately in more difficult situations.
Similar to athletic training, I shouldn’t overburden myself and avoid self-made failures.
This could be the worst case negative self-belief to lead. A possible thought that might arise next is, “I’ll never learn.”
An important note about saying “no” specifically: Maintain eye contact, avoid smiling, and speak in an assertive voice.
Otherwise, your counterpart believes there is still room for negotiation. You can do it before Spiegel To practice.
Question: Should I feel guilty if I say no?
Karahi: Of course, I don’t need to feel guilty if I walked away and said no for good reasons. all No to the outside world is finally yes to me or current liabilities.
So I also ensure reliable time management in the face of many complex tasks and life situations.
If you feel uncomfortable moving, you can Positive Self Comments Be helpful.
“I have a right to have my limits and needs respected” or “I am not only here to satisfy the wants and needs of others” can be valuable permission statements.
Just in the sense of the antidote when a bad conscience wants to spread.
Another note from a psychological point of view:
For those who tend to make their own value dependent on whether or not others agree with their behavior, and how much they agree with them, the support of a professional can help them break this unfavorable pattern.
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