The fall of the Habsburg Empire can be seen as a lack of humor in history. At least one of the republican descendants of Cacaña, Austria itself, causes a “rush” from time to time. The culture of café weirdness seems to be continuing, albeit in a different form. Semi-seriousness ranges from sports to music – to high politics.
For example, the legendary football player Hansi Krankl knew: “We must win, everything else is fundamental.” The brilliant Falco (real name Hans Holzel) sang “Rock me Amadeus” and even became a top flyer in the United States. Heinz-Christian Strache, former FPÖ boss, used Strizzi car, described the Ibiza affair as “b’soffene G’schicht”.
This is how former SPÖ consultant Fred Sinowitz summed it up, but then a little more thoughtfully: “It’s all very complicated.” It is, in fact, even if Sinowatz doesn’t quite accurately put it. Sorting and adding are particularly complex.
The frenzied Austrian socialists had to experience it. Last Saturday they “elected” Hans-Peter Doskozil as the new party leader, with 316 votes in favor of him and 279 in favor of opposition candidate Andreas Babler. More by chance, the votes were recounted on Monday — Babler now has 317 votes and Doskozil 280; On Tuesday it was confirmed in another check, better safe than sorry. Comrades faded: A wrong entry in the Excel spreadsheet was causing the problem.
Nonsense! Blame the full bags (Austrian for fools) who carried out simple election procedures. No sane person needs an Excel spreadsheet to count a few hundred votes for two candidates: a pile of Babler on the left, a pile of Doskozil on the right – and you can see it with that difference. Then come back, calculate instantly (not just days later), collect written instead of digital stupidity, and hit the wrong keys. Everything under four, six, eight eyes. Any village authority can do this.
After all: Blamagerl has made it the former country party par excellence far beyond Austria’s borders in the margins. In any case, secondly: Babler’s choice has an internal logic, because a man cannot combine two and two – he advocates the introduction of a 32-hour week without wage adjustment. Furthermore, “Andy” is a down-to-earth native of Traiskirchner (Lower Austria) and at the same time out of this world: he adores Marx and believes the European Union is a military alliance. After all, third: SPÖ won’t be returning to Ballhausplatz anytime soon.
Chancellor Bubbler? God knows that being a professional politician is not a positive choice, but you have to make a huge error of judgment. The question is what Doscozel’s eventual exit from federal politics will be like. It is precisely in this spirit that the chansonnet Reinhard Wänderich finally warned years ago: “Everything is possible, but nothing is constant.”
Found an error?Report now.
“Tv expert. Hardcore creator. Extreme music fan. Lifelong twitter geek. Certified travel enthusiast. Baconaholic. Pop culture nerd. Reader. Freelance student.”
– Vienna call
SPÖ’s situation is hopeless, but not dangerous.