Australian immigrant explains why Germans never learn

Immigrant

“So, how's your day going?” asks the man behind the cash register as I pay for my gas and Peach Red Bull. “Um…good. And yours?” My answer was hesitant, skeptical in tone. Why is this strange guy asking me about my day? I hold my card to the reader until it beeps. “Oh, never mind. I'm a little tired today, but luckily I'll be off work soon.” He gave me my receipt. “Well, have a nice day.” I smile and nod goodbye. This ends the conversation. My tension disappears and a sense of relief comes over me.

This seemingly innocuous conversation took place early in my time in Australia and continues to haunt me months later. It confused me that the man was engaging me in conversation without any ulterior motives. He doesn't want to collect my number, signatures or sell anything. He was fine. I count today's situation as one of my first culture shocks.

Small talk with strangers? Rather unusual in Germany

Small talk was never a part of life for me in Germany. Quite the opposite: Anyone who strikes up a conversation with a stranger in public will be looked at as strange. And that's usually okay, because anyone who chats you up at the gas station or on the subway has nothing nice to say.

German small talk is shaking your head and complaining about something from two meters away, which is currently happening nearby. “The train's late again? The usual.” Or: “Why didn't they open a second cash register?” These are popular phrases that are usually answered with a sigh and an unintelligible mumble. When you somehow end up in an elaborate conversation, it's usually somehow unpleasant and shockingly one-sided.

Australians are talkative, Germans are not

Germans are not good at small talk – Australians are even better at it. It's perfectly normal to strike up conversations with strangers, especially at bars or events. In Germany, I'm used to staying within my own social group as much as possible. You can approach new people if you get the chance (or if you're drunk), but for me personally it's the exception rather than the rule.

For many Australians, small talk with strangers is part of going out.Image: pexels/ELEVATE

That's why I'm still overwhelmed every time my Australian friends strike up a conversation with strangers. The other day when I was at a party, one of my friends suddenly announced: “Come on, let's find some friends.” As a German, I hesitated to impose myself on strangers, but before I could say anything, he randomly joined a group, inserted himself into their conversation, and our circle widened. And there are no strange looks, awkward silences or defensive postures. Instead, people were happy with our presence and superficial contact.

Shopping chats similarly: All you have to do is step into a supermarket and someone will inquire about your well-being. “Hi how are you?” or a mumbled “how are you doing?” The most popular greeting phrases that will instantly engage you in a short conversation. Although you wouldn't tell the cashier about your divorce or stress at work, “I'm fine, how are you?”

Quick gossip at the checkout is completely normal in Australia. Image: pexels/RDNE Stock Project

Although I'd much rather do my shopping at the self-service checkout these days – at least I don't have to talk to them, though I much prefer this to the German Aldi salesperson who rolls his eyes because I don't pack my oat milk quickly enough. Because as As an introvert, I often find small talk and boredom very difficult. Shopping is stressful enough, I don't need the added pressure of social interaction.

Aid is very important in Australia

But Australians' willingness to speak up can have many benefits. Since people here are not afraid to start a conversation with strangers, no one hesitates to help here.

Here's an example: I was recently at a rest stop and checked my tire pressure. Not being familiar with the measuring device, I fiddled with the tube a bit awkwardly at first, and the process generally took an uncomfortably long time. When I asked “How do you check tire pressure?” As I typed on my cell phone, the next car behind me was already in line.

A few minutes later, a boomer woman got out of her vehicle and I was already getting emotional and bracing myself for a disappointment. In my head, I prepared answers to any passive-aggressive questions that might assail me at any moment. I was even more surprised when the stranger approached me with a smile instead of a grim face and offered to help me. “We women have to support each other,” she told me, explaining the difference between the Bar and the PSI.

Anyone stranded on the side of the road at a loss will get help quickly in Australia. Image: pexels/Alex Matias

And this incident is not an isolated case. I look around confusedly and summon helpful Australians. This is how I figure out how to open the hood of my car, pitch a roof tent, or remove a spider from my shoe.

Small talk takes some getting used to, but that's okay

During my time down there, I generally found Australians to be very open, friendly and helpful. Of course, you have to remember that my experience as a white, normal pretty girl is very subjective and privileged.

Although I enjoyed the occasional small talk and superficial introductions, I was still not used to the social behavior of Australians. I am constantly skeptical when people ask about my day at the gas station And at parties I refuse to join groups of strangers without asking.

Because honestly: Sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to be alone.

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Germans are often out of work. In 2023 disease levels again reached a record level. Watson writer Mike Cleese tells a very personal story in his column, which is also behind these numbers.

A real board to start with might be: The number of days off work due to mental illness has more than halved over the past ten years. That's what he says Psychological report of DAK-Gesundheit from 2024. This puts mental illnesses in third place among the most lost disease groups: directly after diseases of the respiratory system and musculoskeletal diseases.